It's NOT About You

“It’s not about you.”  These words sting but they sure did budge me in the right place.  I’ve recently told my husband how tired I am already of the many things on my plate.  I don’t know if it’s all the pregnancy or if it’s one of the enemy’s evil schemes.  I asked him about the possibility of dissolving the organization that we founded because I just did not think it’s all worth it and it’s sucking up so much of my thoughts and energy.

I honestly expected my husband to just agree.  Instead, he spoke those words with such sincerity and love that instead of hating him for it, I found myself agreeing. 

My husband suggested for me to take a break and just assign and delegate the tasks to our other members.  “It’s not going to end just because you decide to take a break,” he said.  “Somebody else can do what you do.  We will manage.” (Medyo ouchy but he has a point.)

We were on our way home the next day from my in-law’s house when my sister-in-law shared about a primary school a few kilometers from their church.  She said that the school kids there are really in need of school supplies.  (Our organization’s outreach program involves distribution of school supplies to school kids in need.)  She continued on to share how distressed the kids’ conditions are – being born to farm worker parents and all that. 

Then I felt it.  God did something in my heart.  He gave me back all the excitement that I once felt on the day we decided to form the organization and agreed on our causes.  And I felt Him say, “You see? Is this the organization that you were planning to dissolve? Did you forget that I formed your group for this very purpose – to help these underprivileged kids?  You don’t get to decide.  It’s not about you.” (Mas ouchy, but I still felt His love.)

Of course, it’s not about me.  How silly of me to think that everything would just end like that because I decided to stop pouring myself into it.  

It’s quite a beating to be honest, but I thank the Lord that He made me see my foolishness and reminded me that He initiated the forming of our organization and that my job is to obey Him.  So many times, He gave us affirmations that we were doing the right thing through this org, but then one day, I just decide that it’s done.  How foolish of me!

Thank you, Jesus, for the nudge.  It stung, yes, but it’s what I needed.  Give me the grace, Oh God, to look at this added work as a blessing, not a burden.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.    

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.  - Colossians 1:11-12